Be Generous, But Not Stupid

 

Listen Up, Men! – When Kindness Becomes a Trap.

There’s a dangerous game life plays on kindhearted men—one that turns generosity into an expectation, and expectation into entitlement. If you don’t wake up, you’ll find yourself drained, unappreciated, and blamed for putting your own survival first.  

Let me tell you a little story that perfectly captures this madness:  

A man used to give a beggar $100 every month. No questions asked, no expectations—just pure goodwill. This continued for a while until one day, the man gave the beggar only $75 the beggar was surprised, but he shrugged it off. “$75 is better than nothing,” he thought.  

Another month passed, and this time, the man gave him only $50. Now, the beggar was no longer surprised—he was offended. He confronted the man:  

"You used to give me $100, then you dropped it to $75, now it’s just $50—why are you doing this?!"

The man, calm and collected, replied:  

"In the past, I had extra money because my children were still young. When my daughter entered university, expenses increased, so I could only give you $75. Now, my second son has started university, and the costs have doubled, so I can only spare $50."

Then the beggar, without missing a beat, asked:  

"Wait… how many children do you have?"

The man said, "Four."

And then, the beggar, in a display of Olympic-level entitlement, responded:  

"And you’re going to educate all of them at MY expense?!"

Pause. Let that sink in.

When Your Kindness Becomes Someone’s Lifestyle, You Become Their ATM.

This is the fate of many good men. We give, we help, we support. But instead of gratitude, we breed entitlement. The day we prioritize ourselves, people act like we’ve committed a crime. They forget that our kindness was a choice, not a contract. They forget that before we are providers, helpers, or supporters—we are MEN. We have dreams, families, and bills of our own.

If you don’t set boundaries, society will milk you dry and still blame you when the well runs dry.  

If you’re a man reading this, take these hard lessons with you:  

1. Generosity is a gift, not a duty.

The moment people expect your kindness like a salary, it’s time to cut them off.  

2. Never give so much that you forget yourself.  

A drowning man can’t save anyone. Secure your own mask first.  

3. The more you give, the more people think it’s their right.

It’s a harsh truth. The same people who praise you today will curse you tomorrow if you stop.  

4. People respect men who have limits.

If you let them take everything, they won’t even leave you with self-respect.  

5. Always put your growth first.

Before you feed the world, make sure you’re strong enough to stand.  

Be Generous, But Not Stupid

Don’t let people guilt-trip you for choosing yourself. If they think your presence in their life is a right, remind them it was always a privilege.

And if someone asks why you stopped being their personal finance ministry, just tell them:  

"I finally realized I have my own life to build."

Stay sharp, men. The world respects givers with limits, not those without boundaries.

Okechukwu Kingsley Ifeanyi

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