REFLECTION ON FINANCIAL GENEROSITY
Reflections On Financial Generosity
Saying an outright no to people when we cannot immediately provide them with financial assistance and not feel guilty about it afterwards is an underrated emotional skill. A skill everyone should learn.
Personally, I hate to say no to people. I find it especially difficult declining pressing legitimate requests for financial aid.
I am too much of an empath and that can be incapacitating for me some times - compelling me to say yes when I ought to be saying no.
When I was younger, my mum would do wardrobe rounds to see what clothes we had outgrown so she could give them away.
She would often find, for instance, that out of 15 pairs of jeans that she had bought me, I’d have just two left. I’d have given 13 away to friends, house helps or security.😂
I think that I am naturally wired this way.
Generosity is good but even this virtue must be expressed with moderation, or a person will inevitably find themselves in a bad situation where they become totally useless to themselves and others.
As I have grown older, and wiser—I’d like to believe😀, with more responsibilities too, I am learning to say no.
I have since realised that I am in fact not God, and since unlike God, I do not possess infinite material resources, I cannot meet the needs of everyone who asks.
It is impossible.
A person can only give of what they have to the limit that they can.
So now, regardless of how compassionately I feel about a person’s need, I am learning to immediately state that I am not in a position to help them when I can’t.
At other times, I try to connect them with willing friends of mine who might be able to offer the required assistance.
And when the need is not as urgent and I feel really compelled to assist, I let them know that I can plan towards future support. I often would not give a definite timeline as I in fact would already have mental and physical waiting lists with names of people/groups to aid once I am able to.
This is how I am navigating the maze of unending human needs.
In seeking financial assistance from people, we must also understand that sometimes, they do genuinely want to assist us and may even promise that they will; however, unplanned events may occur that make a mess of their genuine intentions.
If you’re such a person who has promised to assist but have to renege on your promise because of circumstances beyond your control, it is best to inform your expectant beneficiaries in time that things have not panned out as you planned.
That way, they can begin making alternative arrangements or looking elsewhere for support.
The people seeking the financial aid of others must also realise that there may be fifty other people asking the same individual for help.
You should be gracious and understanding when people turn down your request for assistance.
Don’t become vindictive and resort to emotional blackmail. They may already be overextended.
Don’t hold a grudge or go about badmouthing them.
Someone who doesn’t assist you today might become a strong pillar of support tomorrow.
Don’t destroy that possibility today through an awful attitude.
And of course, when we’re unable to be of assistance, we should be kind in turning down such requests.
How have you handled these situations?
Please share. I’ll love to learn.
Copied
Saying an outright no to people when we cannot immediately provide them with financial assistance and not feel guilty about it afterwards is an underrated emotional skill. A skill everyone should learn.
Personally, I hate to say no to people. I find it especially difficult declining pressing legitimate requests for financial aid.
I am too much of an empath and that can be incapacitating for me some times - compelling me to say yes when I ought to be saying no.
When I was younger, my mum would do wardrobe rounds to see what clothes we had outgrown so she could give them away.
She would often find, for instance, that out of 15 pairs of jeans that she had bought me, I’d have just two left. I’d have given 13 away to friends, house helps or security.😂
I think that I am naturally wired this way.
Generosity is good but even this virtue must be expressed with moderation, or a person will inevitably find themselves in a bad situation where they become totally useless to themselves and others.
As I have grown older, and wiser—I’d like to believe😀, with more responsibilities too, I am learning to say no.
I have since realised that I am in fact not God, and since unlike God, I do not possess infinite material resources, I cannot meet the needs of everyone who asks.
It is impossible.
A person can only give of what they have to the limit that they can.
So now, regardless of how compassionately I feel about a person’s need, I am learning to immediately state that I am not in a position to help them when I can’t.
At other times, I try to connect them with willing friends of mine who might be able to offer the required assistance.
And when the need is not as urgent and I feel really compelled to assist, I let them know that I can plan towards future support. I often would not give a definite timeline as I in fact would already have mental and physical waiting lists with names of people/groups to aid once I am able to.
This is how I am navigating the maze of unending human needs.
In seeking financial assistance from people, we must also understand that sometimes, they do genuinely want to assist us and may even promise that they will; however, unplanned events may occur that make a mess of their genuine intentions.
If you’re such a person who has promised to assist but have to renege on your promise because of circumstances beyond your control, it is best to inform your expectant beneficiaries in time that things have not panned out as you planned.
That way, they can begin making alternative arrangements or looking elsewhere for support.
The people seeking the financial aid of others must also realise that there may be fifty other people asking the same individual for help.
You should be gracious and understanding when people turn down your request for assistance.
Don’t become vindictive and resort to emotional blackmail. They may already be overextended.
Don’t hold a grudge or go about badmouthing them.
Someone who doesn’t assist you today might become a strong pillar of support tomorrow.
Don’t destroy that possibility today through an awful attitude.
And of course, when we’re unable to be of assistance, we should be kind in turning down such requests.
How have you handled these situations?
Please share. I’ll love to learn.
Copied
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